We may have thieves in the cathedral, but we always reply to our post on time

So says the Dean of Durham in a recent message to those who have petitioned him about the vermin currently infesting Durham Cathedral's Great Kitchen:

For the avoidance of doubt:

I need to state once again that the Cathedral Chaper does not manage the shop in its Great Kichen. This is run as a franchise subject to strict business law, as it was in the days of SPCK. Not all petitioners appear to be clear that a franchise is a formal, legal arrangement to which the parties to it are bound.

I ask petitioner no. 273 (Daid Baxter) to note that this “business within the Cathedral” is NOT managed, is NOT controlled and is NOT run by the Cathedral itself. His comment that “letters sent to the Cathedral authorities go unanswered” is incorrect and I ask him to withdraw it. Whatever he means by this, I can assure him and everyone else that all correspondence addressed to the Cathdral is responded to efficiently and professionally (and, I need not add, all its debts are paid when due).

Michael Sadgrove
Dean

November 29, 2008, 3:43pm

I know churches tend to be infested by bats in the belfry or rats in the basement. But at Durham Cathedral it's worse, much worse: they've got Brewers in the Great Kitchen. Yuk. Disgusting. If you value your health, please don't go there.

The Dean seems to think they're stuck with 'em but there's a very simple solution: stop feeding 'em.

Starve the vermin out.